God Is Still in the Business of Reconciling When God Speaks and We Obey

On November 20, 2024, I went to Turks and Caicos with James and Carson. James and I even wrote a Facebook post about it. If you haven’t read it, here it is below…

A few days before I left for Turks & Caicos, I cried out to God, asking if I should date James or not. I needed Him to make it clear. I felt like I needed someone else to speak the answer out loud.

And then… out of nowhere… Marvin spoke exactly what the Holy Spirit had placed on his heart.

We broke up after that. But during that time, I began drawing closer to God.

When I had my stroke on July 27, 2021, I lost my ability to read and write, and I couldn’t speak. And I couldn’t even pray. 😢 I had the thoughts in my mind, but my brain couldn’t get the words out onto paper or out of my mouth. It was so hard not being able to pray. Really hard. 😥 It almost felt like Jesus wasn’t there. But even in that silence, He never left me.

Then an old friend was texting me around August 2024. I told him I couldn’t pray. He said he would pray for me. He suggested writing my prayers in the Notes app on my iPhone. Then I could use the voice-to-text feature to speak the words and listen to your prayers again.

I started crying. 😭 For three long years, I hadn’t prayed. I miss my Friend and my Savior. 😢 But when I write out my prayers and use voice-to-text, I know my Savior hears me!

Psalms 55:16-17 “But I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning, and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.”

I started praying on my knees next to my bed every time I got out of the shower.

At first, my prayers were short. Then I began praying Bible verses. After that, among many, these Charles Spurgeon prayers and Bible verses from YouTube, really impacted me.

Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts.”

James 1:5 “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally.”

I prayed, “Fill me with the Holy Spirit. Come, Holy Spirit, come.”

And God did.

In January 2025, I started going to a small group at my church. Then around March 2025, I began listening to the Bible on Bible Savvy, a Bible reading program at Christ Community Church, starting with the book of Matthew.    

Jesus says in Matthew 19:9 that anyone who divorces their spouse and marries another commits adultery, except in the case of sexual immorality.

I asked my small group leader if I should date or not based on that scripture. She said, “Let the Holy Spirit guide you.” I told her, “The Holy Spirit is telling me no.”

Then I started fasting. May 10, 2025 was my first fast ever! No food for 24 hours.

I prayed for healing from Broca’s aphasia after my stroke and for wisdom about whether I should have a husband or not — at the time, I wasn’t considering James 😀 and some other things.

Then I started going to Mission Church. I met the prayer group leader in her office, and she prayed over me.

I started going to Mission Church because I wanted to leave my old church, since James was going there.

During this time, the pastor talked about peace and asked, “Do you have peace with your ex-spouse?” I felt convicted.

I started talking with James again, just as friends, so we could co-parent Carson together.

My new neighbor, Iva, had just moved in. She was born in South Africa. She was really nice and kind, and she talked to me like I had never had a stroke.

She went to Mission Church with me, and after that she came with me to Christ Community Church because it is closer. That Sunday, James had Carson. James wanted to meet for lunch at Geneva Days (summer festival) and he asked me if I wanted to go. So I asked Iva to come with me. She said yes! Yay!   

James usually likes to pay for our lunch, but Iva said no! “No way!” But James said, “Yes, I am paying for our lunch.” Iva said, “Ok…but next time I’m paying!”

In the next couple of weeks, Iva said she wanted to go to lunch with me, James, and her husband. I told her yes, and she reminded me, “Next time I’m paying,” so I said sure.

I liked having James there with me at Geneva Days and when we had lunch again with Iva. I can’t talk very well so James is a good conversationalist. 😀  Sometimes I wonder if the Lord placed Iva as my friend so the Lord would use her to lead me back to James.

July, 2025

I’m a visual learner. I need to see the words. After my stroke that’s why I stayed in Proverbs and Psalms when I was reading the Bible.  Proverbs are easier for me because they are short. When a passage is long or in paragraphs, I can’t read. I don’t like listening to the Bible on my phone but I still do it, because I want to hear from God, even when it’s hard.

Then I watched a YouTube video (Isaiah Saldivar) about reading the whole Bible in just 90 days and he reads to the verses in his video.

I don’t work and my kids are in school. So I just thought… why not? Why not give this time to God?

So I did. And now I’m about halfway through the Bible.

July 11, 2025

I love to travel, but international trips are hard for me. I can’t read, write, or speak well, so I need someone to go with me. My family couldn’t go. Then I thought, why don’t I ask James and Carson to go with me to the Bahamas? So I did. James said yes.

I asked James, “Two rooms? He said, “One room. We’re just friends.”

The trip to the Bahamas was August 29 to September 2, 2025. I got travel insurance just in case there was a hurricane. Some people say the rapture is happening before September 2025. I don’t know. But if there are vacations before the rapture happens… I’ll be there! 😁

July 14, 2025

I watched a YouTube video about a little boy who said he saw his dad and Jesus in heaven. I didn’t just cry… I wept. 😭 (Watch YouTube video of “This boy saw Jesus and his dad in heaven.” from Isaiah Saldivar.)

When he said he wished he had behaved better for his mom, it pierced my heart.

I felt the conviction of God over how I treated James. I wish I had chosen separation instead of divorce.

It was the Holy Spirit correcting me and teaching me how to treat my brother in Christ. I felt God and the Holy Spirit working on my heart.

July 15, 2025

On my birthday, Marvin’s wife (from Turks and Caicos) sent me a message on Facebook Messenger. I told her that James and I broke up since we left Turks & Caicos. I shared with her about the boy who saw Jesus and how I felt convicted, and I didn’t know what to do. She asked me, “What does the Bible say?” 🤔

July 16, 2025

The next day, I opened my Bible to Mark 10. Mark 10:9 stopped me. “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” I felt convicted again. Like God was speaking straight to me again.

July 19, 2025

I asked God for a sign about James.

July 20, 2025

I fasted all day Sunday. No food. Just pray.

After church my daughter and I were in the car listening to the radio. Beyoncé came on, singing, “All the single ladies…” I told my daughter how much I loved that song. Then Beyonce sang, “Put a ring on it!” Just like Marvin said to James last November! That was God’s sign.

And then I thought of this verse: John 10:3

“The sheep hear His voice, and He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out.”

I felt like Jesus is calling me. And I’m listening.

Sunday afternoon, I went to James’ house. Carson was there, playing with his friend. I started crying. I told him “I’m sorry that I divorced you. I should have separated with you instead.” I looked at James and told him I loved him. I told him he is my best friend.

We talked. He told me he is going to counseling. He shared that he is part of a small group at our church. Then he showed me the closet where he prays. Seeing that touched my heart. It meant something to me that he is seeking God, not just words, but real change.

I said “We should get married. Let the past stay in the past. Now we read the Bible, we pray, and Jesus will hold us together.”

James said yes. I’ll marry you.

September 13, 2025 he proposed to me. ❤️

July 25, 2025

While I was washing my face, I noticed two little stickers sitting next to the sink. My daughter had just gotten 300 “God” stickers, and her friend had been over.

The stickers said: “Jesus Changes Everything” and “Difficult Roads Lead to Beautiful Destinations.”

I almost cried when I saw them. I asked my daughter if she put them there. She said no. Maybe it was her friend. I don’t know.

But I loved them. And in that moment, it felt like God was gently reminding me with a whisper, “I’m here.”

July, 2025

Pastor Bob Moeller was our counselor before we got married the first time. His marriage ministry is called Better For Worse For Keeps Ministries. Bob and Cheryl have also written books about marriage.

forkeepsministries@gmail.com

Now he is counseling us again. We meet with him on Zoom every one to two weeks. Bob is helping us see where we need to change, so we don’t repeat the past. (Pastor Bob Moeller is flying to Chicago to marry us.)

James is not perfect… and I am not perfect either. When I fasted, God showed me something about myself too. I realized that I gossip sometimes. And I felt convicted.

Proverbs 20:19 says “A gossip betrays a confidence, so avoid anyone who talks too much.”

God isn’t just changing James. He’s changing me too. We’re both learning. We’re both growing. Together.

I may be marrying James, but my trust is not in him. My trust is in God.

Psalm 55:23 says “But as for me, I trust in You.” He is my foundation.

And we chose Bible verses for our rings.

Inscribed in James’ ring is the Bible reference “Mark 10:9” where it says, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Inscribed in my ring is the Bible reference “Luke 11:28” where it says, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

It’s our reminder that this marriage is not just about love, it’s about obedience, faith, and letting God hold us together.    

August 26, 2025

Three days before we left for the Bahamas, we met with Bob Moeller. He kindly suggested that we book two rooms instead of one and we did.

The very next day, Carson got sick. His throat hurt, and my heart just sank. At the same time, the weather showed rain the whole week in the Bahamas. So we decided to use our travel insurance and cancel the trip. It wasn’t easy, but we felt peace.

Now we’re saving that trip for something even more special, our honeymoon in February 2026. It feels like God gently saying, wait.

Proverbs 19:20 “Listen to advice and accept  instruction, and in the end you will be wise.”

October 7, 2025

James and I went to the Partners Group at Mission Church like a small group, a place to grow.

That Tuesday, Carson was sick, so I went by myself. And the topic was prayer. At the end, they said, “Now I’m going to pray for all of you sitting in the chapel.” Not for my family. Not for my friends. Just for you.

So we sat there in a circle, you and the rest of the small group, about eight people. Then we started sharing what we needed prayer for. One by one, each person spoke and we prayed together.

Then it was my turn to speak — or to text. I asked for prayer for healing from Broca’s aphasia… so I can speak and write again. The leader invited everyone to come closer. They all placed their hands on me. And he prayed over me. A prayer for healing. A prayer for my voice. They prayed for me to write again. 

I felt hopeful. And I felt God was right there with us.

Two days later, I discovered ChatGPT!!! James kept telling me to try it. I had already bought it, but I was too scared to really use it. Then I finally did.

And something inside me woke up. For the first time in so long, I felt like I could speak/text again. I could write again!

Now I’m writing this myself in ChatGPT! No one is editing it for me! I love ChatGPT! Not just for the words, but because it helps me find my voice again.

And I love God, because He showed me a way to write when I thought I never could again. It felt like God answered my prayer. It felt like a miracle! 😊

10/29/25

James keeps asking me, “Why me?”

And I just look at him and say, “Because I love you. Because you’re my best friend.”

Then I wrote down the reasons why I chose him…

After I divorced you, you let me and Carson stay with you for two months because there was mold in my house and I had nowhere to go.

Later, when I bought my home in Illinois, you chose a house with four bedrooms so I could live there with four kids for a year while my house was being built. You lived in my townhouse. You didn’t have to do any of that. We were divorced, but did it anyway.

You never called the police on me, unlike my first ex-husband, who did that a LOT.

You never filed motions against me, while my first ex-husband filed every two months for two years after our divorce. I did nothing wrong. They were illegitimate and frivolous reasons.

You never argued about where Carson should be for vacations, holidays, birthdays—nothing. I never had to pull out divorce paperwork to fight for time with my son.

You even put up the Christmas lights outside. You didn’t have to, but you did.

When my ovarian cyst ruptured and I couldn’t drive because the pain was so bad, you took off work, drove me to the hospital, stayed with me, and prayed for me. After surgery, you even slept at my house. I know you weren’t comfortable, but you did anyway.

You sprayed tick repellent in my backyard to help my kids and me feel safe. It was water-based, so when you sprayed it through the outside hose and the wind blew, essential oils went right in your face. 😂

Even in the small things like moving the garbage when I left it by the garage door and putting it into the garbage can. You showed me you still cared. You didn’t have to. But you did.

For almost three years, even when we were divorced, you still treated me like I was your wife. You cared for me. You protected me. You showed me kindness when you had every reason not to. You never stopped loving me, even when it would have been easier to walk away.

James… I choose you. Always.

I’m sharing this with you because by God’s grace—I can write!!! 😁

But really…I’m sharing it because the Holy Spirit touched my heart. As I was reading the Bible and praying, He convicted me in a way I couldn’t ignore.

Who receives the Holy Spirit? Anyone who cries out to Jesus Christ… who repents of their sins… who surrenders their whole life to Him. When you do, He doesn’t just hear you… He comes to live inside your heart.

He fills you, comforts you, changes you, and makes you new on the inside.

Ezekiel 36:26

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

If you want to accept Jesus into your heart, say this out loud:

“Lord Jesus, I confess with my mouth and believe deep in my heart that You are Lord. You gave Your life for me on the cross, and You rose again so I could have hope for eternal life. Today, I lay down my life at Your feet.

Please forgive every sin, every mistake, every wrong thing I have done. Thank You for Your mercy and Your love.

Holy Spirit, come and fill me. Live inside of me. Heal me, guide me, and transform me. Make me the child of God You always intended me to be. I need You. I trust You. And I give You my whole heart. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

John 3:16

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Romans 10:9–10

“If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

(By the way, Marvin, his wife, and their kids are planning to fly all the way from Turks & Caicos to Chicago for our wedding on February 2026! 😊)